My beloved better half and I are celebrating our Silver Wedding Anniversary.
It is amazing that we have shared nearly half our lives together in holy matrimony.
Neither of us has ever been bored in each other’s company.
We also found marriage vows to be very true indeed in stating the future.
That said, adversity has brought us just as close together as have our happiest experiences.
We were best friends before we married and we remain best friends today.
The vows
We specifically requested the 1662 Book of Common Prayer version, which our celebrant was reluctant to say, however, we pressed on and won.
Feel free to read the prayers in full. For now, here are the salient points (emphases mine):
At the day and time appointed for solemnization of Matrimony, the persons to be married shall come into the body of the Church with their friends and neighbours: and there standing together, the Man on the right hand, and the Woman on the left, the Priest shall say,
EARLY beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in the time of man’s innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he wrought, in Cana of Galilee; and is commended of Saint Paul to be honourable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men’s carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understanding; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained.
First, It was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name.
Secondly, It was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have not the gift of continency might marry, and keep themselves undefiled members of Christ’s body.
Thirdly, It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity. Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore if any man can shew any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace.
If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Curate say unto the Man,
WILT thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?
The Man shall answer, I will.Then shall the Priest say unto the Woman,
WILT thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?
The Woman shall answer, I will.
Then the Man leaving the Ring upon the fourth finger of the Woman’s left hand, they shall both kneel down; and the Minister shall say,
Let us pray.
ETERNAL God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life: Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this man and this woman, whom we bless in thy Name; that, as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together, so these persons may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, (whereof this Ring given and received is a token and pledge,) and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Then shall the Priest join their right hands together, and say,
Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder.
Then shall the Minister speak unto the people.
ORASMUCH as N. and N. have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth either to other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a Ring, and by joining of hands; I pronounce that they be Man and Wife together, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
And the Minister shall add this Blessing.
OD the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you; and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen.
Life together
One of the things that surprised us most about married life is the sudden rapidity of adverse events, whether those related to our jobs, family or health.
We could be fine one day and plunged into emergency mode the next.
This is why it is important to marry your best friend.
I personally know of a few instances where a husband couldn’t cope with an in-law’s illness or he didn’t want to be a father once his children became teenagers. Divorce ensued.
Marriage is more than hot sex on demand.
It is a solemn contract to be honoured every day and in ways one does not expect, some of which might be quite unpleasant.
‘Sickness’ refers not only to eventualities with husband or wife but also their respective families.
Engaged couples should be aware of that beforehand. Married couples would do well in making sure their children are aware of it.
I am reminded of the words to Fiddler on the Roof‘s ‘L’Chaim’:
One day it’s honey and raisin cake, next day a stomach ache
Regardless:
Drink l’Chaim, to Life!
Sanctity of marriage
One of the terms I heard most frequently during my years at Catholic school was ‘the sanctity of marriage’, which no priest, nun or lay teacher ever explained. Nor did my parents.
It’s a bit difficult hearing that expression as a teenager in full hormonal explosion as you make the rounds of older cousins’ weddings to tall, beautiful blondes. It was hard not to look at them in awe and think, ‘Lucky guy!’
Yet, three of those marriages failed. One cousin, twice affected, never remarried and returned to the Church. The other remarried and has enjoyed two decades of happiness to another beautiful woman.
Couples who have been married for a long time never discuss the nuts and bolts of the sanctity of marriage. It’s time they did. I did not understand the full import until several weeks ago when I read a sermon by John MacArthur. I summarised it in July and included the link to what he had to say in full.
This is what struck me the most:
And then finally, marriage is picture. It’s picture and what is it picture of? It is picture of Christ and his what? Church. Ephesians 5, it is a graphic demonstration in the face of the world that God loves and has an ongoing unending relationship with the bride whom he loves. And for whom he lives and dies and I dare say that the whole metaphor of marriage of a symbol of Christ and his church has lost its punch because the church is so rife with divorce and fouled up marriages.
For those who prefer a secular explanation, he has this:
Some psychologists did a study and came up with a theory that you are what you are because you are adjusting to the most important person in your life. Whoever the most important person is in your life, that’s the person you are trying to please.
Both of those explain the sanctity of marriage on a temporal and a heavenly level.
I wish all my married readers many additional years of happiness together.
I also hope that my single readers pray — and wait — for the man or woman of their dreams who will love and cherish them not only on their wedding day but until death do them part.
22 comments
August 10, 2016 at 9:19 pm
undergroundpewster
Congratulations. We celebrated our “Coral” anniversary this week. When asked what our secret is, I always give credit to God for He is the glue that can make two into one.
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August 10, 2016 at 9:42 pm
churchmouse
Absolutely agree on giving God the credit for gluing two into one!
Many congratulations, Pewster, on your 35th wedding anniversary this week! All the best people get married in August. 😉
May you and your wife enjoy many more years of happiness together in God’s abiding grace.
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August 10, 2016 at 9:35 pm
Paul Messenger
Excellent and encouraging post – thank you. We’ve had 34 years of married life that gets better and better in spite or, or because of maybe, the difficulties and trials you mention. One thing must not be forgotten – God’s grace! Paul
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August 10, 2016 at 9:48 pm
churchmouse
Thank you, Paul, for your comment!
Absolutely agree. You and undergroundpewster are right in giving credit to the God the Father.
You must be looking forward to your Coral anniversary within the next year. I wish you and your wife continued happiness now and in future ever abiding in His infinite grace.
It is odd to contemplate that difficulties and trials can bring a happily married couple closer together. It’s somewhat of a divine mystery that. It certainly goes against the flow of modern thought, and that is no bad thing.
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August 10, 2016 at 11:06 pm
CherryPie
Congratulations to the two of you 🙂
Your post brought smiles and tears for me. Married life is indeed a roller coaster journey that brings unexpected (outside) challenges into the relationship.
Dare I say that the challenges we experience with our partner should lead us to unity and closer to our maker…
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August 13, 2016 at 12:09 pm
churchmouse
I am glad you dared to say it. It is so true.
Thank you very much, CherryPie, for your good wishes! I am so pleased the post resonated with you.
Have a good weekend!
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August 11, 2016 at 12:27 am
Karina Lam
Happy silver Wedding Anniversary,brother! May God continually bless your marriage life until the end of the time 🙂 Congratulation to both of you. God bless 🙂
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August 13, 2016 at 12:20 pm
churchmouse
Thank you very much, Karina, for your warm wishes and prayer for God’s continued blessings upon us. We greatly appreciate it!
We had a marvellous day together, just the two of us. We will celebrate with those close to us more formally next month with a large, multi-course lunch.
There is something to be said for spending the actual anniversary day alone, just the two of you, doing something special. It reminded us of why we got married. It ended up being very romantic and rather sentimental.
We went into London for a long lunch. We took a taxi back to the railway station. The cabbie apologised for the traffic and for taking us through the side streets of the West End in an effort to avoid congestion. The journey was providential, as we used to work near each other, not far from Harley Street. We saw a lot of our old haunts and our former workplaces, which brought back splendid memories of when we first met and often met up for dinner after work.
In closing, may God continue to bless you and your family.
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August 14, 2016 at 1:02 am
Karina Lam
Hello,brother
Woow it was so romantic! Thank you very much you willing to share your precious and romantic moment to me. Well. I just thinking one day I will and must experience that moment. I and my husband still have long journey of marriage but I strongly believe God always be with us. Nourish our marriage with the Holy Spirit also bless us 🙂 Once again thank you so much for sharing your beautiful and romantic moment with the loved one. God Bless.
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August 14, 2016 at 11:35 am
churchmouse
You are most welcome, Karina!
Re God’s infinite blessings: by the time you reach your Silver Anniversary, it will be impossible to remember them all. 🙂
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August 11, 2016 at 8:16 am
thelastfurlong
Congratulations!
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August 13, 2016 at 12:22 pm
churchmouse
Thank you very much! It was a great day which has extended into an equally great weekend!
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August 11, 2016 at 8:17 am
John in cheshire
CM, congratulations to you and your wife.
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August 13, 2016 at 12:22 pm
churchmouse
Thank you very much, John, for your good wishes to us!
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August 11, 2016 at 9:52 am
jameshigham
Congratulations and shall put in a prayer for both of you. May there be many more.
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August 13, 2016 at 12:27 pm
churchmouse
Thank you, James, for your good wishes and your prayer, both of which we greatly appreciate!
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August 11, 2016 at 9:54 am
Churchmouse’s silver wedding | Orphans of Liberty
[…] Lovely. […]
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August 11, 2016 at 10:41 am
Mudplugger
Heading for 41 soon, we’re a little in advance of your current spot – if you think it’s been good so far, then take it from me, it only gets better.
Back in ’75, ‘liberated’ friends were aghast when Mrs M voluntarily included the ‘obey’ commitment – needless to say she never has, but then she’s never needed to – it’s a partnership, not a master/slave state.
Hearty congratulations to you both – be yourselves, be a team, be happy, then the rest will take care of itself.
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August 13, 2016 at 12:50 pm
churchmouse
Thank you for your good wishes and those words of wisdom, Mudplugger, all of which we greatly appreciate!
‘if you think it’s been good so far, then take it from me, it only gets better’: It’s great to read that you and your wife appreciate your marriage more and more as the years fly by! Marvellous! Enjoy your 41st!
‘it’s a partnership, not a master/slave state’: precisely. It’s a pity more men don’t take note of that.
‘be yourselves, be a team, be happy, then the rest will take care of itself: that is so true. Thanks again!
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August 11, 2016 at 1:50 pm
lleweton
Many congratulations to you both. May your marriage continue to be blessed, always.
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August 13, 2016 at 12:51 pm
churchmouse
Thank you, Llew. We greatly appreciate your good wishes for continued blessings!
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August 13, 2016 at 1:01 pm
churchmouse
A new reader posted a beautiful entry on love on her site in July. ‘I love you means …’ is well worth reading:
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