Union Seminary confesses to plants — read it and weep

Once upon a time, I knew a couple who attended Union Seminary in New York.

As it was a long time ago — so last century — and I was young then, I thought that all seminaries were theologically conservative.

How wrong I was.

This couple, although they conducted themselves conservatively in apparel and manners, were among the most left-wing people I’d ever met. She went to study Theology. He was going to become an ordained minister until he realised he could make bags of money in the private sector.

Someday, I will examine Union Seminary here in more detail.

For now, this is what they got up to on Tuesday, September 17, 2019.

This is not from The Onion or Babylon Bee. It’s from the seminary’s own Twitter feed.

Read it and weep:

https://t.co/5PsI12DacT

— Union Seminary (@UnionSeminary) September 18, 2019

Our Lord Himself warned against false teachers, yet, this is how Union Seminary justifies their pagan pseudo-pantheism:

We need to unlearn habits of sin and death. And part of that work must be building new bridges to the natural world.

And that means creating new spiritual and intellectual frameworks by which we understand and relate to the plants and animals with whom we share the planet. /3

— Union Seminary (@UnionSeminary) September 18, 2019

When Robin Wall Kimmerer spoke at Union last year, she concluded her lecture by tasking us—and all faith communities—to develop new liturgies by which to mourn, grieve, heal and change in response to our climate emergency.

We couldn't be prouder to participate in this work. /5

— Union Seminary (@UnionSeminary) September 18, 2019

But it's also important to note that this isn't, really, that radical a break from tradition. Many faiths and denoms have liturgy through which we express and atone for the harm we've caused. No one would have blinked if our chapel featured students apologizing to each other. /7

— Union Seminary (@UnionSeminary) September 18, 2019

So, if you're poking fun, we'd ask only that you also spend a couple moments asking:

Do I treat plants and animals as divinely created beings?

What harm do I cause without thinking?

How can I enter into new relationship with the natural world? /9

— Union Seminary (@UnionSeminary) September 18, 2019

If you'd like to read more about worship at Union:https://t.co/PRvim3YMcP

— Union Seminary (@UnionSeminary) September 18, 2019

I cannot help but wonder where that leaves their vegetarian and vegan students.

I hope the following is not in any seminary’s future:

i think the "ethicists" are reaching "consensus" that we should all be eating "ethically sourced" human flesh or something like that. Coming very, very soon to a theology/religious studies dept near you. @LueYee

— A. Epiphanes 4th (@A_Epiphanes4) September 19, 2019

The thread garnered excellent replies from the devout:

To nurture greater relationship/ responsibility between people & plants, have students raise and care for a garden or flower. Have them water it, get rid of pests, weed, fertilize, and remove to prepare for new seasons. Appreciate, admire, be thankful. Never worship the created. pic.twitter.com/XIXG9EuL5S

— ThinkOnTheseThings (@JoanBandy) September 18, 2019

Well said Joan and Sarah! To echo and add-we have sinned and fallen short in our call to steward creation. This should drive us to confess to each other, repent to our Father and invite His Spirit’s transforming work in our hearts.

— Timothy Wright (@Timothy13019528) September 19, 2019

At worst, heresy.

— ThinkOnTheseThings (@JoanBandy) September 19, 2019

Seriously. Old. New. Take your pick. Jesus died on a cruel cross to save us from our sins and a seminary decides to make us better by praying to a plant? Unconscionable.

— ThinkOnTheseThings (@JoanBandy) September 19, 2019

What about Jesus’s withering the barren fig tree?

Guess Jesus has some repenting to do regarding that fig tree.

It’s time to return to Holy Scripture, folks, before it is too late:

Again, can your tree god save you? pic.twitter.com/qrsKtnDQZd

— Eric Weathers (@ericweathers) September 19, 2019

Yep, they will ask for redemption one day.

Pray it’s not too late:

Rough day. Thanks for making me laugh! 🙂

— Stephanie Bradshaw (@ihavemudlines) September 18, 2019

The reply was in response to ‘a few potted plants from Home Depot’ rather than the sentiment.

There were other calls to repentance, such as this one:

You can’t repent to a plant. You repent to God himself for the sins you commit. And you should repent to Him for this heresy

— Courtney (@taekicks) September 19, 2019

Then someone recalled that Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a student at Union in 1930 and loathed it. A female cleric had a go at him:

Alright Metaxas. Flag on this play, too. Student Bonhoeffer saying he didn’t like his experience in 1930 doesn’t give you warrant to turn that complaint into a martyr’s pronouncement that a chapel service in 2019 is “horseshit.”

— Dr. Melissa Vanden Bout (@doc_vanden) September 19, 2019

The warrant for incoming Bohoeffer is because nothing in this cost anyone anything or demands anything. No one in that room will ever move to Appalachia and take a janitor’s job and spend a decade working along side the people actually affected by ecological evil and sin.

— The Bad School Counselor (@TheBadSchoolCo1) September 19, 2019

tone deaf and unself-aware manner. So yes, I’m on firm ground in pointing out the utter disappointment and parody 21st century mainline xtianity has turned into and using DB’s martyrdom as a rhetorical device to illustrate it.

— The Bad School Counselor (@TheBadSchoolCo1) September 19, 2019

Haha. Love the disdain and hand waving. You’re awesome. Is this how you make followers of Jesus? Talking down to your perceived lessers?

— The Bad School Counselor (@TheBadSchoolCo1) September 19, 2019

What’s it look like when a whole culture has Narcissistic Personality Disorder? This. All of this.

— The Bad School Counselor (@TheBadSchoolCo1) September 19, 2019

Even a pagan thinks Union’s veggie worship is weird:

I'm pagan and this even feels weird to me.

— Dustin Peterson (@DustinTPeterson) September 18, 2019

There were some funny plant-based puns, such as this:

Did they make a public stamen?

— Dinkledash (@Dinkeldash) September 18, 2019

But, ultimately, it comes down to this — a return to the Bible and its doctrine. Otherwise, these students and their professors could meet with a dreadful judgement from On High:

BINGO!

— 19_mo_86 (@19_mo_86) September 18, 2019

Pray not only for Union Seminary but for the countless others around the world that have turned to Gaia, rejecting Holy Scripture and Jesus Christ, our only Mediator and Advocate with the Father.