Forbidden Bible Verses — 1 Timothy 5:1-2

The three-year Lectionary that many Catholics and Protestants hear in public worship gives us a great variety of Holy Scripture.

Yet, it doesn’t tell the whole story.

My series Forbidden Bible Verses — ones the Lectionary editors and their clergy omit — examines the passages we do not hear in church. These missing verses are also Essential Bible Verses, ones we should study with care and attention. Often, we find that they carry difficult messages and warnings.

Today’s reading is from the English Standard Version Anglicised (ESVUK) with commentary by Matthew Henry and John MacArthur.

1 Timothy 5:1-2

Instructions for the Church

5 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, ² older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.

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Last week’s post discussed Paul’s specific instructions to Timothy on how he should conduct himself in Ephesus and the surrounding churches in his mission to rid the congregations of false teachers.

At the approximate age of 35 at this time, Timothy was considered a young man. Paul gave him this advice:

¹² Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

In 1 Timothy 5, Paul lays out instructions on how the young church leader should correct those older than he.

Paul begins with two overarching principles before going into detail.

With regard to men, Timothy should not rebuke a man older than he but rather encourage him as a son would as a father; similarly, he should treat the younger men as brothers (verse 1).

John MacArthur says that, in the Bible, a congregation is called an assembly, a body and a family.

He picks up on the family aspect, explaining Paul’s intentions (emphases mine):

Now, within the framework of our love for each other, there’s a very necessary element, and that’s the element of confronting sin. It’s true in a family and it’s true in a church … Inevitably in a family where there’s love, there is a concern to deal with something that isn’t right. That’s just part of being a family … 

… it springs from love because love says, “I care that you know the blessing of God. I care that you prosper spiritually. I care that you be happy and joyful. I care that you be useful to God. I care that you be in His will and know the outpouring of His grace. In fact, I care so much that when I see sin in your life, I want to bring it to your attention.” That’s family love, and that’s exactly what Paul calls for in these two verses. Let’s look at them.

Timothy was in a family in Ephesus, a part of God’s greater family of the church, and the family, as it were, in Ephesus had some very serious sins. As we have been studying 1 Timothy, I think we’ve become fairly well aware of those sins. Time and again throughout this epistle, I have pointed out to you how Paul makes an issue of some wrong doctrine or some ungodly characteristic of the people in that assembly.

For example, if you go back to chapter 1, the emphasis in verses 5 and 6 about living love out of a pure heart, having a good conscience and an unhypocritical faith from which some have swerved indicates that there were some in the church who had abandoned truth and some who had abandoned purity and godliness and virtue. Down in chapter 1, verse 19, he calls to Timothy to hold on to the faith and a good conscience and again says some have put away these things and made shipwreck of their life. There were in that Ephesian church people at all levels, male and female and all age categories, who were abandoning true doctrine and abandoning godliness.

The injunction in chapter 2, verse 8, that men were to pray lifting up holy hands may have a bit of a polemic in it. That is to say there were some men standing up in the congregation who were praying to God in a pious mode while there was sin in their life. Obviously, from verse 9 there were some younger women who were adorning themselves in immodest apparel and more concerned were they about their jewelry and their appearance on the outside than they were about their hearts. Some of them were usurping the role of the older man in leadership in the church and needed to be reminded that the priority for them was to bear children, to raise them in godliness.

Chapter 3 indicates to us by the standards given to qualify the ones that are to be pastors that some older men had aspired to the role of overseer and pastor in the church, elder in the church, but their lives did not qualify, and so Paul gives the qualifications for one who should have that office. Some in chapter 4 who were in the role of teachers were teaching demonic doctrine that was really coming from seducing spirits.

Matthew Henry’s commentary points out the importance of winsomeness in ministry. That’s important because it brings positive results:

Ministers are reprovers by office; it is a part, though the least pleasing part, of their office; they are to preach the word, to reprove and rebuke, 2 Tim 4 2. A great difference is to be made in our reproofs, according to the age, quality, and other circumstances, of the persons rebuked; thus, an elder in age or office must be entreated as a father; on some have compassion, making a difference, Jude 22. Now the rule is, 1. To be very tender in rebuking elders—elders in age, elders by office. Respect must be had to the dignity of their years and place, and therefore they must not be rebuked sharply nor magisterially; but Timothy himself, though an evangelist, must entreat them as fathers, for this would be the likeliest way to work upon them, and to win upon them. 2. The younger must be rebuked as brethren, with love and tenderness; not as desirous, to spy faults or pick quarrels, but as being willing to make the best of them. There is need of a great deal of meekness in reproving those who deserve reproof.

Having been steeped in Scripture by Lois and Eunice in his formative years, Timothy understood what he had to do in Ephesus. How to do it was another matter, hence Paul’s advice.

MacArthur cites Proverbs in this context:

Timothy certainly would have known the truth of the book of Proverbs. Over and over and over again it says in Proverbs how absolutely vitally important it is to have discipline. Faithful, it says, are the wounds of a friend. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Open rebuke is better than secret love. And if you study Proverbs carefully, you will find that in Proverbs 15:32, discipline leads to understanding. In Proverbs 19:25, it leads to knowledge. In Proverbs 15:31, it leads to wisdom. In Proverbs 13:18, it leads to honor. And in Proverbs 6:23, it leads to a happy life. It purifies because it has a way of tackling sin and seeing it eliminated. Timothy knew that.

MacArthur gives a number of examples of constructive rebukes from the Bible. Here are two of them:

You see, God has always wanted to eliminate sin in His family. Now, how should it be done? Let me give you some thoughts on that. First of all, it should be done fearlessly. We should go to someone in sin without any fear and confront that sin …

… In the intimate, loving relationships of a family, you do not harshly rebuke, he says, the next verb, you exhort, parakalei from parakaleō. It means to encourage, admonish, entreat, appeal. My favorite translation of that is the word strengthen.

I like the idea of strengthen because it’s a positive thing. It means – para means alongside, called alongside. You’re called alongside to help someone. The Holy Spirit is the paraklētos, the Comforter. The Word of God is paraklēsis, the comfort of the Scriptures. The Word of God comes along and strengthens. The Holy Spirit comes along and strengthens. And we are to come along and strengthen …

Although it’s not an illustration within the family of God, perhaps an illustration of this idea comes from Daniel. When Daniel came to confront his – well, the sin of his king at that time, Nebuchadnezzar, it’s interesting to me how Daniel, a much younger man than Nebuchadnezzar, handled it. In Daniel 4:27, this is what he says – there’s no violence here, there’s no harshness, but it’s very straightforward: “Wherefore, O King,” he gives him his proper title, “Let my counsel be acceptable unto thee and break off thy sins.” That’s pretty direct. Stop sinning.

But he doesn’t lambaste him with verbiage, he calls him “O King.” Respect. He says, “Please,” as it were, “let what I say be acceptable unto you. Stop sinning.” Very direct, very sharp censure with authority, fearlessly, but with respect.

Another illustration of this closer to home (because it relates to those within the family of God) is Galatians chapter 2. Look at it with me for just a moment. Peter was the elder apostle, the senior statesman, and the apostle Paul saw Peter sin a sin. And in Galatians 2:11, Paul is in the somewhat unenviable position of needing to confront an older man than he about his sin. “So when Peter was come to Antioch,” Paul says, “I withstood him to the face because he was to be blamed.” I went nose-to-nose with him. Fearless, sharp, with authority because Peter decided to live like a legalist. He tried to impose legalism in his behavior.

But I want you to notice how Paul confronted him in verse 14. “When I saw that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said unto Peter before everybody, ‘If you, being a Jew, live after the manner of gentiles and not as do the Jews, why are you compelling the gentiles to live as the Jews?’” You’ve been liberated, you’ve been living like a gentile, now you’re buying into tall this ceremonialism. Why are you doing that?

Now, I want you to notice that in verse 11, he says, “I withstood him to the face because he was to be blamed.” But when he speaks to him, he doesn’t even make a statement. What does he do? He asks a question. He asks a question in deference to the dignity and the respectfulness of age. That’s an illustration of how to confront an older man who has sinned and still maintain a spirit of respect …

Matthew 18, “If your brother sins, go to him.” Luke 17 says the same thing. If your brother is in a trespass, go to him.

With regard to women, Paul advises Timothy to treat older women as mothers and younger women as sisters in all purity (verse 2), in other words, banishing any lustful thoughts.

Henry says:

3. The elder women must be reproved, when there is occasion, as mothers. Hos 2 2, Plead with your mother, plead. 4. The younger women must be reproved, but reproved as sisters, with all purity. If Timothy, so mortified a man to this world and to the flesh and lusts of it, had need of such a caution as this, much more have we.

MacArthur gives us an example from Philippians 4 concerning older women:

… the apostle Paul, writing to the Philippians, has to confront a discipline situation and in this case very likely a couple of older women. They’d been around a while. They had helped others in the gospel. They had ministered. They had been a part of the team of women that assist in gospel ministry. But they had become apparently argumentative, cantankerous, faction-producing women in the church at Philippi, and that’s enough to make any pastor upset. But notice how Paul approaches this in chapter 4.

He starts out with all this sort of lovey approach, “Therefore, my brethren, dearly beloved, longed for, my joy and crown, stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved,” and you know you’re just about to get hit because it’s so overdone. All this love but that’s just – that’s Paul wanting to rebuke a couple of older women but let them know he loves them and he longs for them and they’re dear to him. And then he says, “I beg you, Euodia and beg Syntyche that they be of the same mind in the Lord.” Quit fighting in public. “And I beg you also, true yoke-fellow” – now he’s calling on someone to help.

The Greek word for true yoke-fellow is suzugos and it could be a proper name. He may be saying, “Suzugos, you help those ladies” – or he may just be saying true yoke-fellow in the sense of you folks get alongside and help those women, and then he says this – “who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also and with other fellow workers whose names are in the book of life.”

You see, he’s saying you’ve got to do something about those sinning women, but don’t forget this, I love them, I long for them, they served me, they served others, they’ve worked in the gospel. In other words, get a context for your rebuke. And that’s a context of what? Of love and gentleness, as to a mother. That’s how you deal with them.

MacArthur elaborates on what Paul means by ‘in all purity’ when mentioning younger women:

That means you are morally, in the sense of lust, indifferent to her. And by the way, this is the only one of the four groups where he adds any other statement, and in this one he says, “with all purity.” And because he makes the emphasis on the last one, I think perhaps we ought to listen to that emphasis that he makes …

… And that is such a common thing and needs such warning that the apostle adds “with all chastity” because he knows that one of the roles of a pastor is sometimes to have to confront younger women, and in such confrontation, impurity can result. Whoever deals with younger women, they are to deal with them as a sister, and the key word is purity.

With older men, respect. With younger men, humility. With older women, gentleness. With younger women, purity. Too often men begin confronting younger women and disgrace themselves with impurity and commit acts of spiritual incest. And nothing, it seems to me, so easily makes or breaks a young pastor as his conduct with women. And even if it is not outright immorality, if thoughtlessness or indiscretion comes, it too can destroy that ministry, regardless of his leadership ability or his pulpit eloquence.

MacArthur gives advice on confronting younger women and what to avoid:

So we have to deal with younger women and confront sin and come alongside and encourage them to godliness and encourage them to holiness, but always treating them as a sister whose purity we would maintain at all costs. So many fall at this point that I would like to draw our thoughts to a conclusion with just perhaps a word about how we can do that with purity. And for an insight into that, let’s go back to Proverbs chapter 6, and this gives us very helpful instruction.

I would suggest six things are necessary in order to deal with younger women as sisters and not fall to some spiritual incest within the family of God. And I say again, it happens so frequently, so tragically. May I suggest to you that these are practical little things that give you sort of a starting point? Number one, to maintain purity in dealing with younger women, avoid the look. Chapter 6, verse 25, the end of the verse, “Neither let her take thee with her eyelids.” With her eyelids. Avoid the look.

Secondly, avoid the flattery. Verse 24, “The commandment of God is given to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a foreign woman.” Men are susceptible to the looks, they’re susceptible to the flattery. It’s always the foreign woman who tells you everything you want to hear. Avoid the look, avoid the flattery. Thirdly, avoid the thoughts, verse 25, “Lust not after her beauty in your heart.” Don’t cultivate in your heart that lingering thought pattern that focuses on the forbidden woman. Avoid the look, avoid the flattery, and avoid the thoughts.

Fourthly, avoid the rendezvous. Chapter 7 sort of implies that. Looking out the window and sees, in verse 7, a simple-minded youth with no brains, wandering around a street, he knows where he is, near her corner. “And he went the way to her house and he hung around a long time in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and in the dark night.” I mean, he’s been there a long time. “And a woman comes out dressed like a harlot, and meets him.” Stay away from the rendezvous …

And then another thought, avoid the house. Verse 25 says – well, from verse 13, on it talks about – verse 14, she says, “I have made my peace offerings, I’ve made my vows,” very religious girl. “And I’ve decked my bed with tapestry.” Verse 16, “I’ve perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon,” so forth and so on. “Let’s fill our – let’s have our fill of love until the morning,” verse 18, “and comfort ourselves with love, my husband is out of town, he’s on a long trip, he’s got a bag of money,” nothing new under the sun, folks …

Avoid the look, avoid the flattery, avoid the thoughts, avoid the rendezvous, and avoid the house. And also, lastly, avoid the touch …

… Yes, this is Paul’s word to Timothy instructing him how to do it, but it’s obvious that this is an example as to how we all ought to be caring for one another in the matter of confronting sin.

Paul then discusses widows both in terms of estate and spiritual health.

Next time — 1 Timothy 5:3-8